Do you have any friends that have uncanny abilities? I do. My best friend Dom is a ball ninja. He's turned bagging people into an undefeatable combat style/painful art-form. I once saw him take out a guy twenty yards away. It was most impressive. Dom clasped his hands in front of his face, took 3 deep breaths and then snapped his foot forward. His shoe flew off towards the fleeing target, squeezed between his legs and delivered a blow to the back of his scrote (henceforth referred to as "sack back smack"). The recipient of this painful blessing was knocked off his feet and a scream of agony echoed through the neighbourhood.
Play fighting with Dom is gambling with the future of your bloodline. I can only guess at the technology involved with his technique. I've chosen to name this technology "Autonomous ball-heat seeking pain delivery". One time we were fighting and after several glancing blows to the jewels I decided to push him down the stairs. As he's falling his leg shoots out and his toes hook the back of my package and halt his descent. He then used my instinct to curl in to the fetal position to pull himself back up to a standing position. I lay there crying and gasping in agony. I think I found God through this ordeal.
His signature move is the "No lookey fake jab toe curl nut sack back smack". We'll go through this move in detail as it is note worthy. In a confrontation Dom will lock his opponent in what I call "The Gaze". When the victim is fully focused and ready Dom will look away, causing the enemy to look away as well. He then fakes a frontal assault which causes the unsuspecting puppet to instinctively raise his leg to shield the marbles. His foot then changes trajectory, lunging in to the opening caused by the leg being raised. As Dom's foot rushes past the danglies the toes curl back and deliver a powerful sack back smack. When properly executed you will actually hear what sounds like a thunderclap. The recipient dies immediately.
One time as I was walking past Dom's room I saw him sitting on the floor... it looked like he was meditating. Curious, I peeked in to the room. He was sitting cross-legged in front of a full sized anatomically correct mannequin of a man. I was flabbergasted and could only stare in morbid fascination. After about a minute Dom's foot shot out almost faster than I could see and hit the mannequin square in the balls. The ballsack ripped off the mannequin and arced across the room, through the opening in the door and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. Soon after I informed Dom I was moving back home.
Play fighting with Dom is gambling with the future of your bloodline. I can only guess at the technology involved with his technique. I've chosen to name this technology "Autonomous ball-heat seeking pain delivery". One time we were fighting and after several glancing blows to the jewels I decided to push him down the stairs. As he's falling his leg shoots out and his toes hook the back of my package and halt his descent. He then used my instinct to curl in to the fetal position to pull himself back up to a standing position. I lay there crying and gasping in agony. I think I found God through this ordeal.
His signature move is the "No lookey fake jab toe curl nut sack back smack". We'll go through this move in detail as it is note worthy. In a confrontation Dom will lock his opponent in what I call "The Gaze". When the victim is fully focused and ready Dom will look away, causing the enemy to look away as well. He then fakes a frontal assault which causes the unsuspecting puppet to instinctively raise his leg to shield the marbles. His foot then changes trajectory, lunging in to the opening caused by the leg being raised. As Dom's foot rushes past the danglies the toes curl back and deliver a powerful sack back smack. When properly executed you will actually hear what sounds like a thunderclap. The recipient dies immediately.
One time as I was walking past Dom's room I saw him sitting on the floor... it looked like he was meditating. Curious, I peeked in to the room. He was sitting cross-legged in front of a full sized anatomically correct mannequin of a man. I was flabbergasted and could only stare in morbid fascination. After about a minute Dom's foot shot out almost faster than I could see and hit the mannequin square in the balls. The ballsack ripped off the mannequin and arced across the room, through the opening in the door and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. Soon after I informed Dom I was moving back home.
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