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I’m having difficulty fighting my impulses lately. If you know me you know that I tend to speak my thoughts. As of late I not only say what I’m thinking I act on urges. Leaning against a divider at work I’m chatting with a couple of people. Jason arrives and joins in the conversation. I don’t remember what we were talking about. It’s not important… As we are talking I notice he has a cup of coffee in his hand. It has me captivated. The conversation fades to the background. That cup. I want to knock it out of his hand… I twitch towards him. Realizing what I was about to do I look up and he had noticed. “Were you about to hit my coffee out of my hand?” He asks. I admit it to him. The urge was there. He says he saw me twitch.

Later that day I’m sitting at my desk chatting with two customers. Mike comes up and he’s talking to me but I don’t really hear him. All I can see is the quarters he has in his hand. He’s rubbing them together and all I can hear is the sound of metal rubbing against metal. Mesmerized… Raising my hand I reach out and smack the money out of his grasp. It’s like he was trying to steal my soul and my sub-conscious mind reacted to save me.

These two things are nothing big but there are incidences where I have had to walk away for fear of saying things. Other times I will just give complete strangers compliments out of the blue because I’ve either noticed they are attractive or they have an item of clothing or some sort of gadget that I think is cool. I’m not exactly a shy person but it seems lately that I’m more forward. I think it’s a good thing. No one has slapped me or bagged me yet. Almost always a good sign.

Stay tuned. I have a short story in the works.

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